An Open Letter To Pantone

Hi Pantone.

I just wanted to let you know that you’ve ruined my day. My face is covered in hives, I’m breaking out cold sweats and the OCD I thought was under control has now been set back by more than a decade.

I’m sure you didn’t mean to. I have a feeling that the people who work for your fine organisation have nothing but good intentions when it comes to art and design.

But when you made the decision to accommodate additional text on the last page of the Pantone Chip Journal by reducing the coloured area above, you delivered a personal and devastating blow to my sense of symmetry. Basically, the brown bit no longer lines up with the blue bit and now I’m paralysed.

I understand of course that what I’m seeing as a global crisis is probably nothing to the regular folks who happily stumble through life using multiple fonts and leaving toast crumbs in the butter.

But surely the one thing that unites and defines your audience of introverted creatives is a common need for everything to be in exactly the right place. For painfully precise design and properly obsessive presentation, with none of the slap-happy laziness we’ve all come to expect from those idiots at Microsoft.

So I’m writing to ask, what were you thinking? Who over there thought it was OK to allow this poisoned chalice to be released into the community like a bloated and horny cane toad? To toss aside fundamental design rules like a half sucked orange?

Usually I’m happy to judge in silence, but when the brown bit and the blue bit are misaligned BY THREE FRIGGIN MILLIMETRES something has to be said. I mean, can you imagine if the people who dug the Sydney harbour tunnel allowed this kind of sloppiness? No more day trips to Manly for an ice cream and some beer nuts. Just leaks and terror and unnecessary, avoidable death.

So I implore you, pull your finger up and your socks out. Insist on the standards your wonderful brand promises and together let’s make Pantone great again.

P.S….If you reply to this message, please check your kerning before pressing send. That stuff makes me crazy.

Stevie Smiles

fmadmin, 2017 Focused Marketing